29/11/16
Okay so this post is really old, I had started writing it but never finished it, so i guess it gives me an opportunity to reflect on this and see if it actually occurred or not.
(previously written)
I have decided that in this half of the year I really want to ensure I have a balance between committing my time to many school activities like school camps, Japan trip and Geography field trip as well as developing myself professionally, so i joined the kapa haka group. I have wanted to learn the school haka for a long time now and never really had the confidence to put myself out there and try it, the same old feelings of being out of your comfort zone and mucking up in front of the kids, especially with something like performing the hake (a culturally sensitive activity which i know means a lot to our Maori students). Below on the right are the words to the haka, while on the left are the words to the waiata. Both have been written by Matua, with relevance to the community and the students of Hornby High, hence where the discomfort and nerves come when performing it.

(now)
Unfortunately I was unable to continue with Kapa Haka in term 4 as the importance of the students getting their work completed before leaving had to be priority, however, i really enjoyed the opportunity to challenge my speaking of another language, and doing it side by side with our students and at times with them as my teacher. I loved seeing the confidence of our senior kids as they thrived in this environment, envious that i didn't see that same enthusiasm applied in all areas of their school life. It makes me wonder how much more can i do to allow these kids to trust me, to allow them to see that we are trying to help them and get the best out of them, for their benefit, I have know for years that our kids are happy to not try and fail, rather than taking that risk and failing anyway. What will build resilience in our students so that they see what we see in them..
Anyway back to the balance of lifestyles of work vs self, i still see this as important, but i think i care too much about student success that i continue to put my welfare to a side and focus on them. This year saw the last of my mentee kids leave hornby and will see me for the first time in 8 years without a student to mentor, its a weird feeling but perhaps a sign that 2017 is a year to focus on myself a little bit, swing that balance a little bit back in my favour, especially as the school goes through both curriculum, staff and building changes over the next few years.












